The Five Stages of Grief
by kbaycolt
Summary: Lucifer has some surprisingly human reactions to getting pulled back into the Cage. Sam wants to hate him, but it gets harder every day.


Sam Winchester remembered taking control. Fighting back against Lucifer, ripping the steering wheel away, grabbing Michael, pulling him down-

And now the four of them fall, hurtling through the darkness. Lucifer split apart from him, large burned wings flail out behind him in a desperate attempt to slow the fall. Michael and Adam are separated too.

When they finally land, the impact jarrs Sam into lying still, everything hurting. Across from him, Adam looks like a broken doll.

Lucifer's bright form shudders and takes the shape of Nick, and Michael turns into a young John Winchester.

It's silent for only a few moments, before Lucifer breaks.

"No!"

He lunges against the bars of the Cage, fingers wrapping around the iron.

"NO! NO NO NO!"

Lucifer's shouts turn into wails of anguish and pain, and then he's rattling the bars with animalistic fervor, face twisted up with the most emotion Sam has seen from him yet. Tears leak from his icy blue eyes.

"LET ME OUT! PLEASE! I CAN'T TAKE IT, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE-!"

He keeps screaming, a broken sound that grates on Sam's ears. Sam doesn't move, unwilling to incite his wrath. Instead, he weakly pulls himself over to Adam, wrapping an arm around him for protection.  
Michael is still, staring blankly ahead like he can't believe this is all really happening.

 _The five stages of grief_ , Sam realizes numbly. _They're both in denial_.

Lucifer continues to beg, his legs giving out and crumpling to the iron floor. He shakes his head rapidly, enough to give someone whiplash.

"It's not happening," he moans, now rocking back and forth. "No no no no no no no no-"

And Michael joins him, muttering "no" as if that'll ease their pain.

It won't.

And it only gets worse from here.

* * *

The next stage Sam recognizes is anger.

At anything Michael does, Lucifer lashes out, attempting physical harm to make up for the mental hurt. Lucifer hasn't yet turned on Sam or Adam, but Sam feels like it's only a matter of time.

It is.

Lucifer abruptly stops pacing and levels a dark glare at Sam. "You put me back," he murmurs, voice deadly soft. "You did this to me."

Sam scoots back, pressed against the bars. No escape.

The Devil is angry, and that doesn't bode well for anyone.

Lucifer starts to glow, a searing heat that burns Sam intensely. A cry of agony rips from his throat, and Lucifer falters, but the glow does not vanish, and Sam feels as though he really is burning to death.

Adam is shouting too, but Sam can't focus because the heat is surrounding him, undermined by a burning chill that feels sickeningly familiar.

It was a while before Lucifer's light fades, and he seems visibly relaxed, although there's an undertone of rage simmering beneath the surface. He crawls to Sam, who's beginning to heal from the torture, and whispers, "I'm sorry Sammy, I'm sorry I'm sorry…"

And he begs for forgiveness, saying he didn't mean it, he didn't, and Sam gives in to the pleading tone and wraps his arms around the pitiful archangel.

Sam should have known it wouldn't last.

The next time Lucifer hurts him is after he fought with Michael, yelling horrible things and then storming away, narrowing his eyes at Sam.

"You shouldn't have jumped in, Sammy," he seethes, rubbing his hands together like some mad scientist. "Shouldn't have jumped in." He has a knife, a knife he conjured out of thin air because apparently his powers don't work on the Cage, only inside it.

The knife trails along the side of Sam's face, Lucifer's expression sadistic. Michael can only watch, his eyes blank.

Lucifer carves him up like a slab of meat, grinning every time he makes a new cut. Blood runs in a crimson river, tracking towards Adam, who flinches away but doesn't move, unwilling to approach Michael.

Sam stops screaming soon, too exhausted to even keep his eyes open. The Cage won't let him die, though that would be a mercy.

Lucifer finally puts down the weapon, after who knows how long of torture, and curls up in the corner of the Cage, head in his hands.

Sam patiently waits for his body to heal before moving closer to Adam, away from the offending archangel. But Lucifer isn't having it. "I never lied to you, Sam. I'm sorry."

He creeps closer, an apology on his lips but malice in his eyes.

* * *

Lucifer stops torturing Sam, whether with heat or knives or an array of other things. Most days are spent in silence, besides the cracks of lightning.

Sam is assaulted by his worst memories, weaponized against him by the Cage. Adam isn't faring much better, having not moved from his spot in the corner since the last time Michael and Lucifer fought.

One day, Lucifer tilts his head towards the sky and cries, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, forgive me, take me back, Father!"

But God isn't listening.

"I'll do anything!" Lucifer pleads, even going as far as to clasp his hands in prayer. "Anything you want, just take me back! I can't do this anymore!"

He begs until his throat is hoarse and he can barely force the words out.

Sam almost pities him. Almost. Stage three, he thinks absently. Bargaining.

Then something utterly shocking happens.

Brilliant white light fills the Cage, and Lucifer freezes. Sam angles his face towards the light, and a familiar presence washes over him: Castiel.

To everyone's surprise, Lucifer shouts, "Take him! Get him out!"

It takes Sam a minute to realize Lucifer was talking about him.

Castiel reaches down to grab Sam, when he _rips his body away_ in a burst of agony that leaves Sam only a soul, vulnerable to the Cage and it's sardonic inhabitants.

"NO!" Lucifer shrieks, grasping pointlessly at Castiel's retreating grace. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE _ALL OF HIM_!"

But Castiel is gone, the Cage leaps on the chance to corrupt an innocent soul like Sam's, and Lucifer's angry howls shake Hell to the core.

* * *

Between the periods of mental torture from the Cage, Sam glimpses the fourth stage of grief: depression.

Lucifer kneels in the middle of the Cage, head bowed so low it almost touches the floor. He makes a high-pitched keening sound that hurts Sam even more than the separation of body and soul. Castiel just made a little mistake, that's all, so he doesn't really blame the Seraph.

Lucifer's been mumbling to himself for a while now, little things that make no sense but sounds pathetic anyway. Sam tried to comfort him once, a little case of Stockholm Syndrome, but Lucifer didn't move from his position. Instead, his moans increased in volume and pitch, bleeding into his true voice, making both Sam and Adam cringe.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this," Michael says suddenly. He hasn't spoken in a long time.

"What?" Sam croaks.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this," he repeats insistently. "No no no." Then his eyes glaze over again, and he falls silent.

Sam decides Michael has lost his mind.

Lucifer takes to moping, pacing around the Cage in circles that made Sam dizzy. He wonders how the archangel managed by himself for several millennia.

Finally, he approaches Sam, his expression distraught. "Sammy," he whispers, and Sam doesn't need to be told. He opens his arms for Lucifer, allowing him to nestle himself against Sam.

"Castiel was supposed to take you," Lucifer mumbles, his face buried in Sam's chest. It feels startlingly okay. "You shouldn't be here. Too good to be here. Too good for me."

Sam holds him, unsure what to say, and opts for silence.

Of course, nothing sweet ever lasts.

* * *

For Sam, the final stage comes much too quickly.

Lucifer stops coming to Sam, stops indulging in the care and empathy that he doesn't think he deserves. He seems almost happier now, at peace.

Sam likes that. He likes it when Lucifer's in a good mood, because then everyone is in a good mood. Adam was awake today, still unresponsive, but awake. Michael was long gone. Something had broken inside of him, left him hollow.

Sam realizes exactly when Lucifer accepts his fate. He knew it was coming, but didn't acknowledge it. Now, as a reality pocket opens in the Cage and a wizened old man steps in, Sam watches Lucifer's face carefully.

He's almost apathetic, a certain sort of indifferent. He stares at Death, not harshly, but not kindly either. Death moves towards Sam, reaching out with a gnarled hand.

Sam flinches away, unwittingly hiding behind Lucifer for support. In some twisted way, he had come to care for the archangel, and being separate from him seemed like a fantasy.

But no, this isn't a fantasy, and Death is really here to take him out. To free him.

Lucifer isn't happy, but he isn't particularly upset, and that stings a bit. Sam holds onto Lucifer as long as he can before Death gently pulls him away.

"No," Sam whispers.

"Go," Lucifer says softly, his icy blue eyes remaining fixed on Sam's face. "You should have gone a long time ago."

Sam isn't ready, isn't prepared, but the Lucifer breaks eye contact, and Sam knows it's over.

The final stage of grief came too fast for Lucifer, and in turn, Sam Winchester. Acceptance comes with a price, it seems.

Sam fights until he's shoved back inside his body, and then there's a wall, and he can't recall exactly why he was so upset in the first place.


End file.
